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Band 4.5

line graph reveals the intake of 3 different kinds of spread

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The
line
Use synonyms
 graph reveals the intake of 3 different kinds of spread (
Margarine
Use synonyms
,
Butter
Use synonyms
, Low-fat & reduced spread), which were taken from 1981 to 2007. The consumption unit was measured in
grams
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the comparative statistic showed that
Butter
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 and
Margarine
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 lessened crucially from 1981 to 2007 with the exception of low fat & reduced spreads. To start with,
Butter
Use synonyms
 was the most selected choice in 1981, which at 141
grams
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.
Then
Linking Words
, the
line
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 had increased nearly to 160
grams
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within
Change preposition
by
show examples
 1986. After that, the trend had reduced steadily to 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1991, which was the intersection point of
Butter
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 and
Margarine
Use synonyms
. Surprisingly, the
line
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 had continuously dropped from 1991 to 2007 with the latest number of 47
grams
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. Looking
further
Linking Words
,
Margarine
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 was
initially
Linking Words
 placed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second order with the recorded
data
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 of 85
grams
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. From 1981 to 1986, the
data
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
detailed a slight reduction to 80
grams
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
line
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 had enlarged to 100
grams
Use synonyms
, which was
also
Linking Words
 the same level
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
Butter
Use synonyms
 in 1991.
During
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1991 to 1996, the
data
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
appeared
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 constant value with the amount of 100
grams
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1996 to 2007, the movement had consecutively jumped to 40
grams
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. Low fat & reduced spreads, it had not shown the
statistic
Replace the word
statistical
show examples
data
Use synonyms
 from the beginning of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 to 1995.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the study was surveyed in 1996 with the lowest amount (10
grams
Use synonyms
) when compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two spreads.
However
Linking Words
, the trend
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suddenly rocketed** to 82
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and
fallen
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to 40 in 2007.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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