Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #actions #crime

Actual actions for a short-term purpose which directly influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reducing criminals and other social issues for a long-term purpose will be the ways to prevent

future

crimes

. I partly agree with the two different views since both can be applied in society to lower

future

crime rates. On the one hand, some people suggest that if governments spend the budget on technological developments

such

as thermal imaging, a reduced number of

crimes

will be expected with easiness to catch criminals.

Furthermore

, the reinforcement of legacies is predicted to minimise the cases of re-offenders.

For example

, as individuals recognise the results of committing

crimes

because of the implementation of strengthened laws in South Korea, it is significantly inevitable that recidivism rates have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased for a few years.

By adopting

Change preposition

Adopting

show examples

these features, it will be strongly beneficial to prevent

crimes

On the other hand

, it might be said that the causes of criminals are certainly motivated by social problems like starvation, poverty, upheaval, and famine.

Therefore

, the prevention systems for

future

crimes

would exacerbate the situation to protect people from committing

crimes

if federations do not solve the social issues.

For instance

, in the continent of Africa, it is comparatively prevalent that people habitually steal food or money to afford their own lives.

Consequently

resolution

Correct article usage

the resolution

show examples

of social problems will be fundamental

measures

Fix the agreement mistake

measure

show examples

to stop committing

crimes

. In conclusion, both ways can be admittedly adopted to decrease the number of

future

crimes

. I strongly believe that there should be an attempt to strike a balance both in harmony depending on the duration.

Submitted by mix5777 on Thu Mar 16 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

These days, more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks. What is the cause? What is the solution?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?