IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #actions #crime
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Actual actions for a short-term purpose which directly influence
to
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apply
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reducing criminals and other social issues for a long-term purpose will be the ways to prevent
future
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crimes
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. I partly agree with the two different views since both can be applied in society to lower
future
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 crime rates. On the one hand, some people suggest that if governments spend the budget on technological developments
such
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 as thermal imaging, a reduced number of
crimes
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 will be expected with easiness to catch criminals.
Furthermore
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, the reinforcement of legacies is predicted to minimise the cases of re-offenders.
For example
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, as individuals recognise the results of committing
crimes
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 because of the implementation of strengthened laws in South Korea, it is significantly inevitable that recidivism rates have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased for a few years.
By adopting
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Adopting
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 these features, it will be strongly beneficial to prevent
crimes
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.
On the other hand
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, it might be said that the causes of criminals are certainly motivated by social problems like starvation, poverty, upheaval, and famine.
Therefore
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, the prevention systems for
future
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crimes
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 would exacerbate the situation to protect people from committing
crimes
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 if federations do not solve the social issues.
For instance
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, in the continent of Africa, it is comparatively prevalent that people habitually steal food or money to afford their own lives.
Consequently
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,
resolution
Correct article usage
the resolution
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 of social problems will be fundamental
measures
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measure
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 to stop committing
crimes
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. In conclusion, both ways can be admittedly adopted to decrease the number of
future
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crimes
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. I strongly believe that there should be an attempt to strike a balance both in harmony depending on the duration.
Submitted by mix5777 on

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