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Writing Samples
Band 5

it is seen that many countries that older generation are forget in the past and are not receiving enough respect and aminities. give reasons and effects

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Nowadays, we see in many countries that the older generation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 forged
Change preposition
in
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the past and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not receiving enough respect and amenities. In my ,opinion the
lack
Use synonyms
 of education of new generations is the reason why they are not being respected, and
also
Linking Words
, not enough funding to develop facilities.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 education has been evaluated in many sectors having a huge development in content and techniques, we are losing an aspect really important for the community which is values and respect, it is seen that the youngest generation is not respecting old people,
for instance
Linking Words
, the manner that they use to dirige when they are talking with someone older than they, making them look forgotten.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many countries do not have funds to develop infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
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 facilities in public areas like parks or beaches. The reason why governments do not put funds in that sector is that older people are considered an expense for the government.
Hence
Linking Words
, are retired and are not working, as consequence, not paying taxes.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
lack
Use synonyms
 of infrastructure impact directly on their motivation to do activities deciding to stay at home,
instead
Linking Words
 of going out for a walk.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, poor habits,
such
Linking Words
 as staying at home watching tv impact straight on their immune system
consequently
Linking Words
, having a crowded health system.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
lack
Use synonyms
 of education and discipline of the new generation and in many countries
,
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apply
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 is having as consequence the forgiveness of old people and
also
Linking Words
, the
lack
Use synonyms
 of funds for infrastructure is making them less active.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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