Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #childhood #stage #happiness #person #stages #life

It is thought the majority of human beings that

childhood

is the stage

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

people live happier than adulthood,

while

others believe any individual can spend his own

life

happier in another state

just

Rephrase

apply

show examples

life

than

Change preposition

show examples

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

This

essay will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both sides and

finally

give my own opinion. On the one hand, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood

, we are free from many responsibilities

such

as earning money to maintain the family and raising

kids

. Almost all the needs

such

as foods FIX THE AGREEMENT MISTAKE food It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in

this

phrase. show examples , clothes and

item

Fix the agreement mistake

items

show examples

FIX THE AGREEMENT MISTAKE items It seems that item may not agree in number with other words in

this

phrase. show examples which are necessary for education will be provided by parents. Even though, sometimes

kids

engage in paid work

that is

mainly done

for earning

Change preposition

to earn

show examples

extra pocket money to buy items which are trending with peer groups. Not only that, in

childhood

we do not care about maintaining false images and social status. When

kids

grow up and become

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

most of them want to show that they are happier and have lots of valuable things than their friends and relatives.

Change preposition

For

show examples

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

reasons, children have minds with less burden and they can easily be satisfied.

On the other hand

, happiness is a state of mind that can

achieve

Wrong verb form

be achieved

show examples

at any point

Change preposition

show examples

life

. Despite of responsibilities

which have

Wrong verb form

that one has

show examples

to face in adulthood anyone can be happy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they live with

correct

Correct article usage

the correct

show examples

vision.

Not like

Rephrase

show examples

childhood

there are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of activities that can be engaged

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

later

Change preposition

show examples

life

. As we can earn money and

Add a missing verb

have no

show examples

need to pester others, we are able to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

our desires by purchasing goods or services and travelling around the world. In conclusion, as

kids

are

easily

Replace the adverb

easy

show examples

can be satisfied with little things and they only have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

responsibilities I believe

childhood

is the best stage of

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

we are truly happy.

Submitted by madhuherath.manny on Thu Mar 16 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in many countries today, if people want to find a job , they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to edcuate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.