Some People believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is thought the majority of human beings that
childhood
is the stage which
people live happier than adulthood, Change preposition
in which
while
others believe any individual can spend his own life
happier in another state just
of Rephrase
apply
life
than in
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
ages
. Fix the agreement mistake
age
This
essay will discuss about
Remove the preposition
apply
the
both sides and Remove the article
apply
finally
give my own opinion. On the one hand, in the
Correct article usage
apply
childhood
, we are free from many responsibilities such
as earning money to maintain the family and raising kids
. Almost all the needs such
as foods FIX THE AGREEMENT MISTAKE food It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in this
phrase. show examples , clothes and item
FIX THE AGREEMENT MISTAKE items It seems that item may not agree in number with other words in Fix the agreement mistake
items
this
phrase. show examples which are necessary for education will be provided by parents. Even though, sometimes kids
engage in paid work that is
mainly done for earning
extra pocket money to buy items which are trending with peer groups. Not only that, in Change preposition
to earn
childhood
we do not care about maintaining false images and social status. When kids
grow up and become adult
most of them want to show that they are happier and have lots of valuable things than their friends and relatives. Fix the agreement mistake
adults
As
Change preposition
For
above
reasons, children have minds with less burden and they can easily be satisfied. Correct article usage
the above
On the other hand
, happiness is a state of mind that can achieve
at any point Wrong verb form
be achieved
of
Change preposition
in
life
. Despite of responsibilities which have
to face in adulthood anyone can be happyWrong verb form
that one has
,
if they live with Remove the comma
apply
correct
vision. Correct article usage
the correct
Not like
in Rephrase
Like
childhood
there are lot
of activities that can be engaged Change the article
a lot
with
in Change preposition
apply
the
later Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
in
life
. As we can earn money and no
need to pester others, we are able to Add a missing verb
have no
fulfill
our desires by purchasing goods or services and travelling around the world. In conclusion, as Change the spelling
fulfil
kids
are easily
can be satisfied with little things and they only have Replace the adverb
easy
few
responsibilities I believe Correct article usage
a few
childhood
is the best stage of live
Replace the word
life
which
we are truly happy.Change preposition
in which
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite