Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. do you agree or disagree? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

It cannot be argued that Hollywood
does
Verb problem
has
show examples
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
the best
movies
in the
last
two decades, which are highly consumed by people around the world. Many
movie
experts in my country, Indonesia, believe that
this
phenomenon does
also
happen here. It truly has a negative effect
due to
the enthusiasm of the people in watching the local
movies
at the cinema since they prefer to watch foreign films. I agree with these experts and I will elaborate on my reasons below.
To begin
with, in my opinion, scriptwriters abroad have the more creative ability
in making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
up an interesting storyline.
For example
, they could give us, the
movie
lovers, a beautiful plot twist ending that could give us goosebumps.
Moreover
, they will make us even more excited to look forward to the sequel of the stories, if the stories have not been finished yet.
Furthermore
, the local action
movies
are edited in low quality so people could not enjoy the cinematic.
This
definitely would not happen whenever we watch action
movies
from Hollywood
production
Fix the agreement mistake
productions
show examples
, especially in all of Marvel's
movies
. For
this
particular reason, the government could actually help by giving opportunities to any potential crews in the film industry to study abroad and learn from the master.
Otherwise
, our
movie
's quality is still under the standard.
To sum up
, as a developing country, we still can grow our
movie
industry as long as we
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
the right attempt and keep up the perseverance. The government
also
play a crucial part in shaping the future in terms of giving access to high-quality education abroad.
Submitted by lagum on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that the points presented are balanced and address both sides of the statement, as the question asks whether you agree or disagree, and also whether governments should support local industries. Your essay primarily provides reasons for the preference for foreign films.
Task Achievement
Work on providing specific examples to support your main points better. You mentioned the quality of action movies and education abroad but did not give concrete examples to illustrate these points sufficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, you can improve the logical flow by adding transitional phrases between ideas, ensuring a more cohesive link between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve paragraph development by giving equal attention to the two different aspects of the question. The part about government support for local industries needs further elaboration for a more coherent argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foreign films
  • locally produced films
  • big-budget
  • production values
  • exposure
  • cultural heritage
  • local talent
  • financial incentives
  • economic growth
  • government support
  • compete
  • preserve
  • promote
  • audience
  • settings
  • context
What to do next:
Look at other essays: