IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is a fact that people nowadays are under a lot of pressure and their lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What could be the possible reason for this? what are some solutions to address this issue?

#fact #people #pressure #lives #reason #address
In
this
 concurrent time, stress becoming
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone and many individuals are living their life under huge strain. There are some causes and solutions for
this
 Which I will discuss in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the causes of
pressure
 between people.
The first
Correct article usage
First
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of today's generation is living in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 era of competition. From
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system to workplaces. They just want to take
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 position for themselves. To illustrate it, in India,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of students are studying in Kota city, Rajasthan to get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in competitive
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
. Every year students from all around the country gather at one place to take coaching there as they are under
pressure
 to qualify
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 exam.
Moreover
,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 people are more materialistic and want to have every kind of amenities
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their place. They will easily come under some strain if they cannot afford the technology or
useful
Replace the word
user
show examples
 needs.
However
, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways from stress.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days yoga and meditation become predominantly useful.
As both
Change preposition
Both
show examples
 of these, provide soothing and calmness to anyone physically and mentally. So local authorities and school management should arrange some seminars to provide the information about benefits of these to people. They should
also
 encourage them to implement exercise in their life. Despite
this
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
 give their attention to rising the number of jobs. They should have to work on
this
 and should reduce the count of unemployment. which
also
 reduces much
pressure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 youngsters.
To conclude
,
stress
Add an article
the stress
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not good for physical and mental health.
This
 fast pace era rising the
pressure
 between individuals. But there are some exercises that help anyone to take care of themselves.
Submitted by amrindersinghynr89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: