IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that money spent on space exploration is a waste and could be better use to fund other urgent problems in society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #money #space #exploration #waste #fund #society
The fantasy to explore space and visit other planets is increasing greatly in recent times. Nowadays many people wish to go to the moon for experiencing
a
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life over there.
However
, it is true that more focus should be laid on using
same
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the same
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 amount of
money
 for eliminating
other serious issue
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another serious issue
other serious issues
show examples
of
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in
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 the country. The idea of visiting outside the globe is not new, especially among youth, who wish to explore other planets once in their life. It is beneficial to have information about other creatures existing in the universe
,
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 so that you can convey the same to future generations as well.
Moreover
, it
also
 gives an insight into the possible threats that the world may encounter.
Although
 there are certain benefits,
but
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the government should impose a limitation on these activities.
For instance
, celebrities and rich community in Pakistan
seems
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seem
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 interested in buying lands on the space as their property. So
this
 should be restricted,
rather
Correct word choice
and rather
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 same
money
 should be utilized in more efficient ways. People in our country are well aware of the current situation
,
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 and must try to contribute
according to
 their capabilities to make the circumstances better. The country is suffering from many serious issues like poverty, illiteracy and unemployment.
Hence
,
instead
 of spending
money
 on space exploration,
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 should be devoted to charitable institutions for the welfare of society.
For Example
, if a person donates
in
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to
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 funding and NGOs, the amount could be used to educate poor people, and to provide them with food and shelter,
thus
 making their lives better.
This
 would
also
 help in reducing inflation, as more businesses would be established.
As a result
, the quality of living would be enhanced.
To conclude
, the idea of wasting
money
 on unnecessary activities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 leaving the nation behind, so these should be cut down in order to have a well-balanced society.
Submitted by ned.khizar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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