IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.
#amount #six #consumer #goods #four #european #countries
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The bar chart compares consumer spending on
six
Use synonyms
 different items in Germany, Italy, France and Britain.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 British
people
Use synonyms
 spent significantly more money than
people
Use synonyms
 in the other three countries on all
six
Use synonyms
 goods. Of the
six
Use synonyms
 items, consumers spent the most money on photographic film.
People
Use synonyms
 in Britain spent just over £170,000 on photographic film, which is the highest
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
figure
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shown on the chart.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Germans were the lowest
overall
Linking Words
 spenders, with roughly the same figures (just under £150,000) for each of the
six
Use synonyms
 products. The figures for spending on toys were the same in both France and Italy, at nearly £160,000.
However
Linking Words
, French
people
Use synonyms
 spent more than Italians on photographic film and CDs, Italians paid
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more for personal stereos, tennis racquets and perfumes. The amount spent by French
people
Use synonyms
 on tennis racquets, around £145,000, is the lowest the figure is shown on the chart.
Submitted by tjumagul67 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words six, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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