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Band 7

The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in foreign language in different countries.

The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in foreign language in different countries.
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The bar chart illustrates the data about percentages of
students
Use synonyms
 surrounding males and females who are proficient in
a foreign languages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a foreign language
foreign languages
show examples
 in several countries .
Overall
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 of Romania and
India
Use synonyms
 rates were the highest , Followed by
Russia
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 and
Vietnam
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 and
thirdly
Linking Words
China
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 and Thailand .
India
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 experienced the most significant increase ,
while
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
's rates were the lowest among the six countries . On average ,
India
Use synonyms
 in approximately 68% of
students
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master
Change the verb form
masters
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 a foreign language.After that, Romania with a proportion of 65% with a decrease slightly compared with
India
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 .After that ,
Vietnam
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 with a rate of 57% ,
then
Linking Words
 ,
Russia
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44
Change preposition
at 44
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% with a fall gradually comparing with
Russia
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 and Lately , between Thailand and
China
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 with a percentage of 32% which fluctuated ,
then
Linking Words
 declined steadily. In
this
Linking Words
 figure,the rates of
students
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 in both
Russia
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 and
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 have reached a peak with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 abundance of females than males , followed by the rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and
Russia
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 which dropped considerably .
Therefore
Linking Words
, in each of
China
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 and
Thailand
Add a comma
,Thailand
show examples
 they attained a maximum of only 32% with the dominance of females.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, india, russia, vietnam, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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