IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to university while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are argumentative perspectives heating a debate over how to achieve a high-flier position in life.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 hold a strong view that having accessibility to a learning journey at colleges acts as the sole path to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s fruitfulness, the opposite makes a statement whether it is other influential determinants that have a great impact on it.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 each has its own merits, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned aspects. Without a shadow of a doubt, getting access to a broad range of theoretical knowledge at institutions plays
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a paramount significant role
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the high achievements of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 might be because an academic degree provides opportunities to land a decent job in reputable firms, which makes
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 have a better career. To be more precise, national-acclaimed enterprises
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as Vingroup have a tendency to hire postgraduates who have a degree from top-ranked universities, namely National Economics University,
Foreign
Correct word choice
and Foreign

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 Trade University. In sharp contrast, individuals without a fundamental knowledge foundation and certificates in higher education are unable to do some particular jobs,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add the comma(s)
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

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 doctors, teachers,
pilots
Correct word choice
and pilots

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 .
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, digesting valuable insights in academies brings about tremendous influence, yet it is not the only method to gain
high-achievements
Correct your spelling
high achievements

The word high-achievements doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the redeeming features of having a learning journey in
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college

It seems that colleges may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the contribution to a person’s success of different elements
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject contribution. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 ignored, especially attitude. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s attitudes toward occupation and co-workers reflect their working ethic, which affects the level of productivity for the cooperation.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 approach tasks with a positive attitude, they will have more motivation and enthusiasm to be productive workers.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a
high-achiever
Correct your spelling
high achiever

The word high-achiever doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 is attributable to various factors including attitudes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 absorbing academic knowledge acts as a precursor for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to succeed in life, other determinants catalyze it as well.

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task response
Ensure to stay on topic and fully address all parts of the question. Provide a clear opinion and develop all aspects of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your ideas logically and coherently. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and aim for more precision and accuracy in word choices. Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate flexibility and sophistication.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, word forms, and word order. Use a range of complex and simple structures and make sure to demonstrate control of grammar and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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