IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that the biggest problem facing cities is the increasing number of cars. Others say there more serious problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #cities #cars
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People
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 have different views about what is considered the most difficult for urban communities. Even though the increasing
number
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 of cars in cities has resulted in traffic on major roads, I believe there are major issues of concern
such
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 as; pressure on social amenities and increased crime rates. On the one hand, there are several reasons why some individuals think that the growth in the
number
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 of automobiles is the biggest concern for urban dwellers.
For instance
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, a high
number
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 of cars on roads leads to traffic jams which prevent
people
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 from getting to their various workplaces early.
For example
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, personally, Monday mornings are my worst days
due to
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 heavy traffic on the road to my workplace.
This
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 often affects me
while
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 discharging my duties since I get to work late and tired.
On the other hand
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, there are other serious issues than the aforementioned which are of importance .
Firstly
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, one of the major challenges facing urban dwellers is the high pressure on social amenities.
Due to
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 the high
number
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 of
people
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 moving into urban areas, a lot of pressure is put on infrastructures
such
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 as schools, hospitals, and roads.
This
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 means that funds that will be used for other developmental projects will be allocated to maintaining these structures.
In addition
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, the
number
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 of criminal activities is on the rise in urban districts.
For example
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, a survey conducted in the Greater Accra Region of Ghana in 2021 showed that the
number
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 of criminal cases increased significantly compared to the previous years. In conclusion, some groups of
people
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 are of the view that the biggest difficulty facing urban dwellers is the growing
number
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 of vehicles, in my opinion, there are more severe problems
such
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 as the increase in the
number
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 of criminals.
Submitted by rahabfordjour on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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