Some people believe that education in certain countries do not cater to the economic needs of society. What are the drawbacks of this education system and mention some solutions.

#people #education #countries #society #system

Education

is considered the reason for success ,

while

some countries believe the qwww11111111`opposite way , they believe that

education

cannot help

people

for improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

their financial condition .

This

essay will not only describe the possible reasons

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

some relevant measures for reducing

this

issue. The first and foremost reason is poor financial conditions because

people

can not afford

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

quality

education

this

era of inflation.

For example

, nowadays, most educational institutions charge a large proportion of money from the students.

consequently

, count of illiterate

people

is increasing.

Secondly

, another cause is the lack of white-collar jobs ;

as a result

people

are migrating to other developed countries to

fulfilling

Wrong verb form

fulfil

show examples

their needs , and they can not contribute to their own country.

This

issue can be solved by taking appropriate solutions.

Education

fees should be low so that students can afford them.

Moreover

, the pupils who are hardworking better opportunities should be given .

Apart from

this

, better job opportunities should be provided to all youngsters so that youth do not need to move to other countries as they will be able to make contributions to their own country .

For instance

, if more

people

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

work they will pay more taxes to the

county

Correct your spelling

country

show examples

;

therefore

, money can be utilized for the development of the country. In conclusion, no doubt, there are several reasons for the poor economic status of

people

such

as high tuition fees and lack of employment, but

this

problem can be reduced if solutions

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

taken at the appropriate times by providing better facilities.

Submitted by navjotguri on Thu Mar 16 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address the task question and lacks a clear position on the issue. It is important to clearly express whether you agree or disagree with the statement and provide a comprehensive response to the question.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. It is important to ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words to link ideas and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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