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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes that took places in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 -2012

The chart below shows the changes that took places in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 -2012
#changes #places #three #areas #crime #newport #city #centre
The line chart illustrates the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incident as the rate of
crime
 in three different
cases
 namely
bulgary
Correct your spelling
burglary
Bulgaria
bulgar
,
car
theft
, and robbery in the Newport city centre from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
, the rate of
bulgary
Correct your spelling
burglary
biliary
bulgar
 declined significantly replaced by
car
theft
 where as robbery shows
steady
Add an article
the steady
a steady
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 trend.
Bulgary
 was the dominant
crime
 at the beginning of the period,
Change preposition
with took
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took
Wrong verb form
taking
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 rates
over
Change preposition
of over
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 3000 incidents reached its peak in 2004 which was 3800
cases
as
Change preposition
apply
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the highest number of
crime
 rates over the
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
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, but it continue
fall
Add the particle
to fall
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 with approximately 1300
cases
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
However
, in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2007, its trend was
change
Wrong verb form
changed
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 where
car
theft
 was higher than
Change preposition
in bulgary
show examples
bulgary
Correct your spelling
Bulgaria
bulgar
burglary
 with approximately 2100 and 1600 respectively. With regards to the remaining two incidents,
car
theft
 was a steady level of
crime
 from 2003 to 2004 and got reduced in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 5 years from approximately 2700 up to 2250. The number
then
 increased to 2700 in 2012. Robbery reached 900
cases
 in 2005
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 continue
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 stable
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Submitted by rahmad.iriyandi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, cases, bulgary, car, theft with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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