IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet therefore is no need of museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#culture #history #museums #information #internet
It is impossible for me
agree
Add the particle
to agree
show examples
 that the
internet
 will
teaching
Change the verb form
teach
be teaching
show examples
 us 100% like museums. We can not live in a world
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
 history and culture, if we lost
this
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
internet
, I am afraid
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what is gonna
happaned
Correct your spelling
happen
happened
. In my opinion,is
extremelly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 important, for the next generations, do not
let
Fix the infinitive
to let
show examples
 the museums
desapear
Correct your spelling
disappear
 because of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Firstly
, I know the
internet
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 a lot
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and it is easier for
evebody
Correct your spelling
everybody
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 access to rich content about culture and history, on the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, in the
museusm
Correct your spelling
museum
 you
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 another type of
experiencie
Correct your spelling
experience
 and perspective. When the kids go to the museum for learning something about the past, I am sure they get more
invovled
Correct your spelling
involved
 and excited, they can see closer and touch sometimes, with
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 they can not do
this
.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, if we do not have more
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
place to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 see
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
artist
Change the noun form
artists
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 like Leonardo da Vinci or Portinari, or a simple
exibition
Correct your spelling
exhibition
 for a local artist,
this
 is gonna be a disaster for the next generation. The arts, paints,
books
Correct word choice
and books
show examples
 will be just a
pitcure
Correct your spelling
picture
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one screen, we will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 the value, the feeling of
walking
Add an article
the walking
a walking
show examples
trough
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 in
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
, and
problably
Correct your spelling
probably
 our history.
To conclude
, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
we have the duty to protect everything that
was make
Change the verb form
was made
show examples
 for the people who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
 here first. We can not lose for the digital,
internet
 is good,
conect
Correct your spelling
connect
 people, but have your limit, and
this
 limit is the
phisique
Correct your spelling
physique
. So, I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both could work together, putting
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 inside the museums,
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 integrations, that will be a good plan
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my perspective.
Submitted by mynameisge on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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