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Writing Samples
Band 7

The best curriculum is not one based on a static body of knowledge, but one which teaches students to cope with change. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#curriculum #body #students #change
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In some perspectives, compared to fundamental
knowledge
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, the acquisition of capacities to cope with change is more important. I disagree with
such
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 opinions since both aspects of teaching should be valued equally. On the one hand, fundamental
knowledge
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, including mathematics, science, and biology, is essential for
students
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 to extend their studies based on it.
Such
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 as the capacity of calculation, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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students
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 to have a better understanding when they learn more sophisticated
subjects
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, be it financial analysis in business fields or graphic design in construction areas.
For example
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, in the UK, the government planning to make math classes one of the main
subjects
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 in schools until
students
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 are in ninth grade to ensure young individuals have better capacities for financial arrangements in the future.
On the other hand
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, it is not enough for
students
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 nowadays to take only traditional education without gaining the capacity to tackle changes,
such
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 as the effects derived from the development of modern technologies.
Instead
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 of sticking to the
knowledge
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 in textbooks, courses should prepare
students
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 for the fast-changing workplace, where new work positions are spring-ups
while
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 many existing job opportunities may be replaced by high-end technologies.
For example
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, the governments in Taiwan provide various
subjects
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 for young individuals to get familiar with different job positions in the real world, for them to convert the
knowledge
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 learned from courses into practical usages, including short internships in local businesses, and
subjects
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 for
students
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 to start a business on campus.
To conclude
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, even though the fundamental
subjects
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 are crucial for young people to
equip
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be equipped
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 with fundamental abilities, which help them to explore more possibilities in the future. The value of the courses providing
students
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 with practical
knowledge
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 to cope with change in modern societies should not be overlooked since it could increase the competitiveness of the younger generation in the real world.
Therefore
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, I disagree that schools should only focus on teaching
students
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 to tackle change.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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task response
Your response covers the topic clearly and presents a well-structured argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your position. Work on improving the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs for better coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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