The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar canes. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #canes #summerise #information #features #comparisons

The given diagram

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

the information about

whole

Add an article

the whole

show examples

production

process

sugar

from

sugar

cane.

Overall

it is clear that

there are total

Change preposition

of 7

show examples

steps to make

sugar

from raw materials.

In addition

, in the manufacturing

process

Add a comma

,process

show examples

the form of

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

turn into

juice

and syrup. Before the

process

begins,

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are grown by farmers. It normally takes 12 to 18 months to be fully

growned

Correct your spelling

grown

. When they are ready to be harvested, the farmers start to work on gathering

sugar

canes

either using machines or using handy tools.

Next,

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are crushed into sweet

juice

with a huge

juice

maker. After sugary

juice

is made, it needs to be purified by

limestone

Correct article usage

a limestone

show examples

filter in order to get rid of impurities like

dirts

Change the wording

dirt

specks of dirt

show examples

. Pure

juice

is put into an evaporator which is heated by fire to make syrup.

The next step is

centrifuge

Correct article usage

the centrifuge

show examples

process

, which separates

sugar

crystals from the syrup. Separated

sugar

powders are dried and cooled in the final step, they are

finally

ready to be sold.

Submitted by 98shs on Fri Mar 17 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar canes. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Statement of purpose for PhD application at the University of Maryland.

In a number of countries , some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very trains between cities . Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others , however, believe that boys and girls would benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.