Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

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Fashion

Use synonyms

is an important part of today’s human culture. It has a tendency to influence the ways of individuals in terms of dressing and their

hairstyle

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. In my opinion, it is a positive and negative development for society.

This

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essay will discuss

this

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issue comprehensively. On the one hand,

fashion

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has contributed to economic growth since it enhances the local and national industries of a country. It means that the trend of

fashion

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is perceived as a potential business. Taking Indonesia as an example, the veil

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

one of the most popular fashions among Muslim women in the

last

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two decades. The great number of

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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potential buyers, since Indonesia is the most populous Muslim nation, is the main reason why the veil industry has been rising significantly.

Hence

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this

Linking Words

industry, from homemade businesses to big manufacturers,

becomes

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

economic

Correct article usage

an economic

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activity which contributed to national economic growth.

On the other hand

Linking Words

fashion

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particularly in

hairstyle

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, in many cases, can lead to misbehaving among

people

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. A punk

hairstyle

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for instance

Linking Words

, is usually associated with gang-related crime.

Furthermore

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this

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kind of

hairstyle

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brings some stereotypes which

people

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may think that they are rebellious or uneducated.

Consequently

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, youth who find themselves under the influence of

this

Linking Words

type of

hairstyle

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, are considered to lack self-esteem and threaten local and national cultural identity. In conclusion,

fashion

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determines how

people

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choose their dresses and

Use synonyms

hairstyle

Fix the agreement mistake

hairstyles

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I would argue that it has positive and negative development as well. On the one side, it brings advantages for economic advancement, and on the other side, it has detrimental effects on

people

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such

Linking Words

as a lack of confidence in their cultural identity.

salwafahanimFri Mar 17 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay responds fully to the prompt. Include a clear and specific opinion on whether the influence of fashion is predominantly positive or negative. Also, make sure to address all aspects of the question in a balanced manner.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, structure the essay with clear introduction and conclusion to improve coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.