children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. what are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

There is no doubt that juveniles have been suffering more
pressures
Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
show examples
from various matters, namely academic, social and commercial perspectives these days.
This
essay will first elaborate on the causes of
this
problematic phenomenon, and I will give certain practical solutions for it.
To begin
with, a variety of social problems are the adverse factors stemming from a competitive world, which
rusults
Correct your spelling
results
in unavoidable stress and difficulties in children's life. To put it simply, juveniles are expected by their families to accomplish various objectives when they grow up. They are supposed not only to thrive in only achievable academic performances and social
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
commercial
Change preposition
in commercial
show examples
success.
For example
, in Korea, many students always suffer from
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
entrance
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
,
therefore
, a number of severe mental health problems increasingly occur every year.
Furthermore
, certain solutions are necessary to tackle
this
issue. First and foremost, there should be some measures to be taken by governments as they are able to resolve the wrong perspectives or beliefs among citizens, which is important because children will be no longer needed to be expected too much from their parents.
Secondly
, members of society play a crucial role in raising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness by not letting adolescents
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
excert
Correct your spelling
exert
themselves or being pushed too hard. To explain
this
further
, the young can simply enjoy their lives without extreme pressure. In conclusion, a globalised world has been influencing most teenagers to live
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
successful lives, which leads to depression.
Consequently
,
this
factor can be tackled by some methods from the authority and by raising awareness among members of society.
Submitted by keakyenge on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: