IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #government #libraries #town #waste #money #internet #home #information
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It has been argued by many individuals that the statutory bodies need to build museums free of cost in every city,
whereas
 opponents reckon that the increasing use of cyberspace gives information to the citizens without any charges so it is not good for money for established
libraries
. I favour the former perspective;
however
,
this
 essay shall dwell on both viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, the fundamental benefit of constructing
libraries
 free
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the regime is that the previous generations still prefer to read actual books and articles as they are less habitual to the
internet
. No doubt, cyberspace is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
better for reading books, whilst the majority of people do not have knowledge about how to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
 so they usually go to the library for reading accurate information and
also
 in
libraries
 they are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
few data which are not assessable in the hyperspace.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 45% of older people are going to the library for getting information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their forefather history.
Due to
this
, I favour the same. On the other, the prominent advantage of the
internet
 is to get save
time
. In
this
 fast-paced era, digitalization is proliferating regularly, so the majority of humans prefer to read articles on smartphones or laptops as it is a convenient way and commoners may read easily at any place.
For example
, it is published article by The Tribune newspaper showed that 70% of the population spends their
time
 on online platforms which give data about past history when they have spare
time
 in their jobs or any work.
To conclude
,
although
 it saves
time
 for travelling, I personally believe that senior people have become accustomed to
libraries
 because they have no knowledge of the
internet
.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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