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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many parts of the world, it is common for one parent to stay at home and raise a new born child while other works full time to earn money. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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 concurrent era, it become a trend in
this
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 universe to take
care
Use synonyms
 of infants by
one
Use synonyms
guradian
Correct your spelling
guardian
 and another do a full-time job for wages. From my standpoint, the pros of
this
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 notion are clearly overtaking the cons, which will be enlightened below. To commence with, there are some merits of raising a
child
Use synonyms
 with full attention.
Firstly
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, attentiveness is much more crucial for
new-born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
 babies and parents are the first
who
Correct pronoun usage
ones who
show examples
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 ready for it. They can take
care
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 of them like no
one
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. To exemplify
this
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, doctors
also
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 recommend guardians
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take a leave from their work after their
child
Use synonyms
, as infants
also
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 need them in their initial year of life. In spite of
this
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, new-born
also
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 go through some medical conditions in their starting time and a mother already knew about her own body complications and babies as well. So, they can take
care
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 of children more efficiently than other
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
babysitters.
In addition
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,
child
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 love would
also
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 incline with the person,
whome
Correct your spelling
whom
who
 they are seeing from their first day.
Thus
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, if parents do not take
care
Use synonyms
 of them
then
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youngones
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 would feel detachable from them. There is
also
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 a dire effect of working
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 only
one
Use synonyms
 parent. The prominent
one
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 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the parent would feel burdened by doing hard work on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis.
Due to
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this
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, they
also
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 could not spare some time for their
child
Use synonyms
 as well. In most cases, it would be a father. They could not connect with the young ones for a long period of time.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 guardian has to work hard to run a family. But, it would beneficial for a
child
Use synonyms
, because
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 parent provides proper security and
nutirition
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritional
 value to them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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