IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #advances #cultures #two
It is undeniable that the progression in
technology
 will diminish the
culture
 in society. Another fact is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it will be very difficult to carry both of them together because they are on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different corners of the scientific world.I wholly endorse
this
 statement and will discuss the reasons
on
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in
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this
 essay In the developed world ,
technology
 has grown up systematically over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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culture
 and
believes
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beliefs
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.
As a
result
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,result
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 the thinking process of humanity has changed because of numerous inventions made by research and analysis. The developed ideas are eradicating the myths and
believes
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beliefs
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from the society which mankind carried out throughout their revaluation.
For
instance
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,instance
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 once man considered
moon
Correct article usage
the moon
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 as a god , and later
the
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apply
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science proved that it is a satellite of earth and it doesn’t have an effect on human life. So the exploration made by the technologies in the modern world will gradually decrease the importance of
culture
 in human life.
Apart from
this
 , as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
 improved the number of people who carried out
culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 activities and believers in
such
 practices
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 on decreasing trend. When
the
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apply
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technology
reveal
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reveals
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the
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apply
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scientific and chemical reasons , the ideas behind the traditional
culture
 has been failed to make more practitioners on them . The youth and children are not giving any interest
on
Change preposition
in
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these trend
Change the determiner
this trend
these trends
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.
For example
 ,many churches in Europe
has
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have
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 close
due to
lack
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a lack
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 of believers and
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 not able to afford the expense
which
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apply
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needed to run the organisation.
Overall
 it will be very difficult to carry out both tradition and science together in human life
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of support from the public. In conclusion ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
 revealed the myth and
believes
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belief
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 with the help of science , so it won’t
be carry
Change the verb form
be carried
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 out together . So I agree with the statement.
Submitted by geokavalackal on

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