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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the best way to improve Vinsers’ health is by increasing the number of sports facilities at VinGroup/Vinhomes locations. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health at those sites and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 fast-paced world, people tend to neglect the healthy
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
 work.
This
Linking Words
 is even more precise in VinGroups employees,
where
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 always keep a high
work-pressure
Correct your spelling
work pressure
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people argue that the best way to
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
 the health of Viners is
facilitating
Change preposition
by facilitating
show examples
 more
Use synonyms
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
 grounds.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
 there are some points for people endorsing
this
Linking Words
 opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 stand with those
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will have a small influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public health.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, constructing more
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 avenues will have some
merrits
Correct your spelling
merits
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of easier accessing
as well as
Linking Words
 increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 hectic schedule is the main reason why Viners does not
excercise regurlarly
Correct your spelling
exercise regularly
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 intense schedule
unable
Correct your spelling
enable
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to access the
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 ground because it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much time
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to these place.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a novel nearby
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 complex will be an
idealy
Correct your spelling
ideal
ideally
 solution for
this
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
 its
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
,
accesscible
Correct your spelling
accessible
,
state of the art
Add a hyphen
state-of-the-art
show examples
 facilities.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for those
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have an
awareness
Use synonyms
 about
sport
Use synonyms
 committing more with doing
Correct your spelling
exercise
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 and those who not can have the
awareness
Use synonyms
 about it via more
intensesive
Correct your spelling
intensive
 exposure with the
constructers
Correct your spelling
constructors
show examples
Body paragraph 2
Despite
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 benefits,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not think
this
Linking Words
 solution can lead to a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
sedementary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
sedimentary
 lifestyle because the major reason is not solved. The main reason leading to
this
Linking Words
 crisis is their stressful schedule, which is the barrier between them with
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 healthy lifestyle. Henceforth, I think the targeted solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem is increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the promotion of portable
work-out
Correct your spelling
workout
show examples
 classes. The former is more important because
like
Add the comma(s)
,like
show examples
 the battery, the
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
 to
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 in each person will decrease
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. It is crucial to
charged
Change the verb
charge
show examples
 them with a new
freshing
Correct your spelling
refreshing
 work-out energy, which will keep them
maintained
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 their good
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
. For the latter ideas,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 portable classes via internet interaction or a small
classe
Correct your spelling
class
classes
 at their workplace will make them exposed more
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Linking Words
Such
Add an article
A such
The such
show examples
holistic
Correct article usage
a holistic
show examples
 approach will make Viners more
Correct your spelling
committed
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the healthy lifestyle
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are some advantages in building more
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 avenues,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am on the side
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 developing other measures
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
 have a comprehensive influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maintaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health for the resident of
VinGroup
Correct your spelling
Vingroup

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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