Using computers everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modern era, everybody is getting dependent on technology.
New age
Add a hyphen
New-age
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
are getting addicted
with
Change the preposition
to
show examples
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
gadgets and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
show examples
with the given statement that personal computers have
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
on
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
mental
as well as
Linking Words
physical health. To commence with,
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
show examples
child is habitual to everyday technologies and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
them excessively.
For example
Linking Words
,
kids
Use synonyms
use computers to play games more than
studying
Replace the word
study
show examples
which creates mental stress and strain on
Add an article
the eye
show examples
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
which impacts health in long run. To elaborate, Childs
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not like to play outside but are addicted to their PlayStations which are creating obesity issues in young lives and
also
Linking Words
costly for parents to manage
such
Linking Words
expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
these
gadgets
Add a comma
,gadgets
show examples
youngsters do not get time to learn or observe something from their parents and lack than others
due to
Linking Words
their poor communication skills and
intellectually
Change the word
intellectual
show examples
problems.
For instance
Linking Words
,
study
Add an article
a study
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Cambridge university United Kingdom done on child mentality shows that
due to
Linking Words
excessive use of computers, children are becoming less social and their communication ability
also
Linking Words
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
a hit which is of profound importance in future for
job seeking
Add a hyphen
job-seeking
show examples
. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, either there will be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
youngsters with managerial abilities in future or in some cases there may be managers without good communication skills in future.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
of the hour to regulate child's usage of modern gadgets
otherwise
Linking Words
it can result in
kids
Use synonyms
with shyness which in turn will be
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of confidence.
Submitted by jassisingh320 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: