When choosing a job, salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

Some people argue that

job

salary

is the most important

factor

for choosing a career field.

while

I believe that

job

satisfaction

is far more important than other elements, I agree that income is an undeniably significant

factor

. On the one hand,

job

satisfaction

is very important for many reasons. our mental health is really based on our

life

satisfaction

which can be reached by having a proper career.

For example

, since I started painting ,my dream

job

, I have become happier in my

life

and it is easy to see for me that my mental health has improved significantly.

In addition

, in now modern

life

people spend most of their time at their workplace and if they choose it forcefully just in terms of making money it can lead them to depression

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

I went through the same experience at my

last

job

when I was an engineer.

Hence

, I argue that

job

satisfaction

should be the first career

choosing

Replace the word

choice

show examples

factor

On the other hand

also

the

job

salary

is an important

factor

that can not be ignored at all. The

salary

should be as enough to make living expenses affordable. To illustrate, Tesla , one of the biggest inventors of all time, did not pay attention to his

job

salary

and he

taken

Add the auxiliary verb

took

has taken

show examples

his

job

just because of his deepest love for science and electricity, but in his

late

Replace the word

later

show examples

life

Add a comma

,life

show examples

he became very poor ,

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

show examples

he passed away just because of poorness. That’s why people should notice their gross income for living. In conclusion, in my opinion ,

job

satisfaction

is very important, but

Change the capitalization

show examples

still believe that

salary

can not be neglected.

Submitted by adelkhoosogol on Sat Mar 18 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

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