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Band 4

Now it is possible for tourists to travel into any remote locations. Identify advantages and disadvantages of this

#tourists #travel #locations
Excursionists and holidaymakers are stepping
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the furthest areas of countries.
This
 may be positive
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the finance and employment rate of the region.
However
,
environment
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the environment
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 is suffering from that
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
as well as
 crime is increasing among the locals because of it.
Firstly
, travellers who are paying for the service and entertainment in distant parts of the world are raising funds
of
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for
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 land.
Therefore
 that capital can be used to enhance the economy and manufacturing of the area
such
 as launching new education and sports facilities , markets, hotels and
recruitional
Correct your spelling
recreational
 centres.
Moreover
, thanks to
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 demand by tourists, more vacancies are getting available , in terms of hotel managers, waitresses, cooks and administrators that's why the unemployed are taking advantage of it.
For instance
, Hawaii does not possess any economic minerals or precious metals but it is one of the
developed
Correct quantifier usage
most developed
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 spots ever known on account of the natural beaches that attract numerous vacationers annually.
Nevertheless
, the impact of visitors to the surrounding area should be taken into account. The more human beings step
the
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on the
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 land, the less space
are
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is
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leaving
Wrong verb form
left
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 for the
surviving
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survival
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 and flourishing of flora and fauna. Every summer millions of people go picnic and barbecues and no matter how strict laws are applied, there are some who disobey them deliberately or unintentionally. What is more,
Correct article usage
the
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pase
Correct your spelling
pace
 is increasing because naive new
commers
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comments
comers
 are magnetising shoplifters and pickpockets
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 doing harm to dwellers as well. In conclusion, even though
high
Change the article
a high
the high
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 number of foreigners in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas can be beneficial to the economy of the land,
this
 is affecting
to
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apply
show examples
the nature and way of living there.
Submitted by ayperixudaybergenova on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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