A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism out weight its drawbacks?

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Nowadays, the majority of people all around the world spend their leisure time on travel and visiting world civilization heritage in different
countries
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. There are
variously
Change the word
various

Variously seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

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and histories in the world
and
Correct word choice
that

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attract people to explore
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

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.
Tourism
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is a potential business and brings lucrative markets. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime

The word mean time seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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,
tourism
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can
also
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be detrimental if it is not managed correctly. As a matter of fact, some small
countries
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need
travel
Correct article usage
a travel

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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industry because
of
Change preposition
apply

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they could not make the product by
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves

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and depends on import
form
Correct your spelling
from

The word form doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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other
countries
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, small island
countries
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lack
of
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apply

The preposition of seems unecessary after the verb lack. Consider removing the preposition.

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natural resources and arable land, so it is difficult to develop agriculture and industry on a sufficient scale. In my opinion, the advantages of
tourism
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in modern cities included the tourists bring the
economic
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economy

The word economic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and simulation of business,
besides
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, cultural exchange and sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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information
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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foreigners would be a gorgeous way to improve our inclusion and a Diverse Society, we may see the difference between two of us
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then
Replace the word
than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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learning to receive different culture.
On the contrary
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the disadvantage of
tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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nowadays, I thought
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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must be pollution. The phenomenal rate of global warming
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject rate. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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raising
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

over developed
Add a hyphen
over-developed

It seems that over developed is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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, much marine debris, smog,
Correct word choice
and deforestations
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Correct word choice
and deforestations

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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deforestations
Fix the agreement mistake
deforestation
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after
much
Correct quantifier usage
many

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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tourists visited.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my country Taiwan, the Kenting National Park is a national
protect
Change the form of the verb
protected

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb protect. Consider changing it.

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area, catch
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish

It seems that fishes may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is forbidden,
nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many seafood
restaurant
Change to a plural noun
restaurants

The singular countable noun restaurant follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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need to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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fresh dishes for tourists so they catch
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish

It seems that fishes may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in the national park, the over catch induced coral reef bleaching
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

relating marine ecology were damaged.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I thought the balance of
tourism
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be considered and managed carefully, the law should be done directly, the environment of our living space
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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sustainable development,
the
Correct word choice
and the

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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economic
Replace the word
economy

The word economic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs

It seems that the verb need does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to bolster, I think
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
tourism
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

out weight its drawbacks, so it need to make consensus between government and populaces.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • main source of income
  • revenue generation
  • cultural exchange
  • employment opportunities
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • wildlife disruption
  • cultural erosion
  • seasonal dependency
  • global crisis
  • off-peak seasons
  • social disruption
  • overcrowding
  • local economies
  • touristic demand
  • local traditions
  • quality of life
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