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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism out weight its drawbacks?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #weight
Nowadays, the majority of people all around the world spend their leisure time on travel and visiting world civilization heritage in different
countries
. There are
variously
Change the word
various
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and histories in the world
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 attract people to explore
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Tourism
 is a potential business and brings lucrative markets. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
,
tourism
 can
also
 be detrimental if it is not managed correctly. As a matter of fact, some small
countries
 need
travel
Correct article usage
a travel
show examples
 industry because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they could not make the product by
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and depends on import
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 other
countries
, small island
countries
 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
natural resources and arable land, so it is difficult to develop agriculture and industry on a sufficient scale. In my opinion, the advantages of
tourism
 in modern cities included the tourists bring the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and simulation of business,
besides
, cultural exchange and sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 foreigners would be a gorgeous way to improve our inclusion and a Diverse Society, we may see the difference between two of us
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 learning to receive different culture.
On the contrary
, the disadvantage of
tourism
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays, I thought
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must be pollution. The phenomenal rate of global warming
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 raising
due to
over developed
Add a hyphen
over-developed
show examples
, much marine debris, smog,
Correct word choice
and deforestations
show examples
deforestations
Fix the agreement mistake
deforestation
show examples
 after
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 tourists visited.
For example
, in my country Taiwan, the Kenting National Park is a national
protect
Change the form of the verb
protected
show examples
 area, catch
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
show examples
 is forbidden,
nevertheless
, many seafood
restaurant
Change to a plural noun
restaurants
show examples
 need to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh dishes for tourists so they catch
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
show examples
 in the national park, the over catch induced coral reef bleaching
then
 relating marine ecology were damaged.
To sum up
, I thought the balance of
tourism
 should be considered and managed carefully, the law should be done directly, the environment of our living space
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sustainable development,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
also
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to bolster, I think
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
tourism
 out weight its drawbacks, so it need to make consensus between government and populaces.
Submitted by workthing5421 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • main source of income
  • revenue generation
  • cultural exchange
  • employment opportunities
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • wildlife disruption
  • cultural erosion
  • seasonal dependency
  • global crisis
  • off-peak seasons
  • social disruption
  • overcrowding
  • local economies
  • touristic demand
  • local traditions
  • quality of life
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