IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of difgerente cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #difgerente #cultures #ages
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Music
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 has
great
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a great
the great
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ability
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 to get
attention
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the attention
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 of
people
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 from all over the world
..
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.
...
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There
are
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is
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 someone who believes that
music
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 is
a
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the
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 best way to gather
people
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 without any discrimination of age and
culture
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 . I wholly endorse with
statement
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the statement
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 because of two reasons 
Music
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 has got immense power to attract
people
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 from various
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and ages
due to
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 its
ability
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 to make
people
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 entertained. Even though there are different types of
music
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 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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  popular in the world,
people
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 from nooks and corners of
globe
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the globe
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 are enjoying all formats . It has got a magical
ability
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 to make
people
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 healthy ,and help them to reduce stress without any boundaries.
For instance
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 , Karnatik
music
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 from
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india
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India
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 has got
lot
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a lot
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 of fans in western countries and a huge number
Olof
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of Olof
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 participants are attending the
music
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 festivals in
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india
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India
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 which connects the
culture
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 between
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india
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India
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 and Europe and give medicinal benefits .
overall
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 it's
entertaining
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the entertaining
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ability
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 and healthy benefits helping it attractive for all generation
Music
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 has got a great
ability
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 to exchange ideas and
culture
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in
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apply
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between
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nations and continents and save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge for the future.
Earlier
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In earlier
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 times our forefathers used to exchange knowledge by making
them
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apply
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as
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apply
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songs or poems
,
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apply
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so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be easily memorised and
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferred
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 to
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation. Nowadays
also
Linking Words
people
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 are learning about the history and
culture
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 of different parts of the world from
music
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 by hearing and assessing . The studies of Hindustani
music
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 in
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india
Change the capitalization
India
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giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 a
cast
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casting
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 idea of the Mughal invasion and their contributions to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Indian society.
Overall
Linking Words
music
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 has
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 power to save and transfer knowledge and ideas to upcoming populations. In conclusion ,
Use synonyms
music
Add an article
the music
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 got
a
Correct article usage
the
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 power to entertain
people
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 without any differentiations and it can exchange
and
Correct word choice
apply
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ideas
of
Change preposition
between
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 various
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and nations. So I believe that the statement is highly acceptable
Submitted by geokavalackal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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