Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of difgerente cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
great
Add an article
a great
the great

The noun phrase great ability seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ability
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to get
attention
Add an article
the attention

The noun phrase attention seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from all over the world
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

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There
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject someone. Consider changing the verb form.

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someone who believes that
music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase a best way does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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best way to gather
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without any discrimination of age and
culture
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I wholly endorse with
statement
Add an article
the statement

The noun phrase statement seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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because of two reasons 
Music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has got immense power to attract
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from various
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and ages
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

its
ability
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

entertained. Even though there are different types of
music
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which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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  popular in the world,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from nooks and corners of
globe
Add an article
the globe

The noun phrase globe seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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are enjoying all formats . It has got a magical
ability
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

healthy ,and help them to reduce stress without any boundaries.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Karnatik
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India

If you don’t want india to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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has got
lot
Change the article
a lot

It appears that the phrase lot does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of fans in western countries and a huge number
Olof
Change preposition
of Olof

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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participants are attending the
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

festivals in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India

If you don’t want india to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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which connects the
culture
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

between
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India

If you don’t want india to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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and Europe and give medicinal benefits .
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it's
entertaining
Add an article
the entertaining

The noun phrase entertaining ability seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ability
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and healthy benefits helping it attractive for all generation
Music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has got a great
ability
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to exchange ideas and
culture
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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between
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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nations and continents and save
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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knowledge for the future.
Earlier
Change preposition
In earlier

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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times our forefathers used to exchange knowledge by making
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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as
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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songs or poems
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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can be easily memorised and
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferred

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb transfer. Consider changing it.

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to
next
Correct article usage
the next

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation. Nowadays
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are learning about the history and
culture
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of different parts of the world from
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by hearing and assessing . The studies of Hindustani
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
india
Change the capitalization
India

If you don’t want india to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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giving
Wrong verb form
give

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb giving. Consider changing it.

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a
cast
Change the verb form
casting

The verb cast should be in the participle form when used as an adjective. Consider changing the form of this verb.

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idea of the Mughal invasion and their contributions to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Indian society.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

music
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the noun power is not preceded by the correct article. Consider changing the article.

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power to save and transfer knowledge and ideas to upcoming populations. In conclusion ,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
music
Add an article
the music

The noun phrase music seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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got
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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power to entertain
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without any differentiations and it can exchange
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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ideas
of
Change preposition
between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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various
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and nations. So I believe that the statement is highly acceptable

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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