We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is crucial for every person to consider that helping the needy in their society and state is more important
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than those who live in other locations. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
notion since in today's world human
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
living in a global village have been connecting with each other and many philanthropists are better
to donate
Change preposition
off donating
show examples
their wealth to unfortunate people in other parts of the globe. These reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First,
Linking Words
coinciding with technical advancement individuals can easily communicate with others in different parts of the globe.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is irrelevant for society even governments to prohibit its people
to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
charitable activities in their nation only. The Tsunami disaster in Indonesia,
for instance
Linking Words
, was a more human problem that should be overcome by people across the world rather than just a local catastrophe. To some extent, by 2005 some international aid foundations from a wide range of nations had come to Indonesia and given a wide range of aid from basic needs, psychologists, and education in order to rebuild Aceh.
As a result
Linking Words
, without any support from other states, it is alarming for a country like Indonesia to provide the most appropriate solution for Tsunami victims during the day. Another reason is that many individuals and states desire to help the needy in other areas since their home countries do not need any help. It means that philanthropists can distribute their wealth in a better way when they assist poor communities in developing countries or conflict areas
such
Linking Words
as Yaman and Myanmar. It was done by some big company leaders including well-known billionaires Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg who allocate their income to help them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they prefer long-term charity projects including education and entrepreneurship rather than short-term goals like giving money to poor families. Giving help to others in different areas,
therefore
Linking Words
, may be more beneficial rather than to their own communities or countries. In conclusion, it is a debatable topic whether donations should be given only in the community and country. I would argue that I totally disagree because society now lives in a global village where everyone can communicate with others regardless of their nationality and it may be better for some to spend their budget to help those in need in different regions.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task response score is relatively low. Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task and provides a clear opinion in response to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion score is strong. Maintain the clear logical structure and well-connected ideas throughout the essay to continue improving in this aspect.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: