IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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Nowadays certain amounts of
museums
Use synonyms
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to require
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
payment for entrance.As I
see
Correct pronoun usage
itsee
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
system
Correct article usage
a system
show examples
 is devastating for humanity's
enlightment
Correct your spelling
enlightenment
whereas
Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
 are being under the threat of no demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 visitors. The first aspect to point out is that any cultural
centres
Fix the agreement mistake
centre
show examples
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 obliging its clients to pay
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 harming
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 as
Initially
Linking Words
,the vast majority of
such
Linking Words
 organisations were free.Undoubtedly,each organization requires distinct funds to be maintained.Hopefully,
museums
Use synonyms
 are not included
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the list of private institutions but vice versa being sponsored by the government.Concerning the entrance fee,
museums
Use synonyms
 are likely to lose their guests because of
notorious
Correct pronoun usage
their notorious
show examples
 reputation as people have been already habituated
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 for it.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
 are threatened by
further
Linking Words
 closure.
For Instance
Linking Words
,in 2011,one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 Ferganian
museums
Use synonyms
 was suffering from
deficiency
Correct article usage
a deficiency
show examples
 of clients.The reason was the building company
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bought the space where the museum was located and made it act as a private one.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
 it had been closed off because of
non-profit
Correct article usage
a non-profit
show examples
 situation. In the case of following the trend,not only materialistic but
also
Linking Words
 mental factors will be affected.By not having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to
museums
Use synonyms
,residents are likely to partly lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
motherland
Change noun form
motherland's
show examples
 history what situation has its specific,detrimental repercussions.
For example
Linking Words
,Uzbek
schoolars
Correct your spelling
scholars
 actively participated in multiple tours to
museums
Use synonyms
 but the tendency was closed off.The reason was the high prices of tickets when not all pupils could afford a journey to and
then
Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
' popularity as well started to decline.Eventually,children were left with no opportunity to see the physical evidence of history and cultural centres disadvantaged respectively. In conclusion,If it had not been for
such
Linking Words
 alterings,humanity would be able to
enlight
Wrong verb form
enlighten
show examples
 in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 effective way.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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