IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #phones #computers #effect #skills #disagree？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is sometimes argued that the literacy of youngsters deteriorates because of the emergence of communication devices
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones and computers. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 claim because these gadgets might deprive teenagers of
time
Use synonyms
 to concentrate on learning including writing and reading and become them to make them develop inferior habits of using informal vocabulary and grammar. The main reason I believe that these communication devices are harmful to young people’s development of literacy is that many adolescents have a risk to become an addiction to internet surfing,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means they will lose
time
Use synonyms
 learning cognitive skills
such
Linking Words
 as writing and reading. Even though these devices provide some writing and reading materials like electronic novels and blogs, most young individuals spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on vain activities, including watching videos, checking social media and chatting with friends.
For example
Linking Words
, In Japan, as a national statistical survey, high school students’
time
Use synonyms
 studying has been shorter than that of a decade ago when there was no emergence of
such
Linking Words
 a device. The second reason why I consider
this
Linking Words
 gadget as a negative material for young people is that there is a risk of acquiring the wrong writing and reading skills. Nowadays, in social media, there are numerous informal words with wrong grammar,
such
Linking Words
 as sentences without subjects.
In addition
Linking Words
, many younger people consume their almost
time
Use synonyms
 using these words, and they can not write formal sentences,
such
Linking Words
 as essays.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the US, as a recent research, 30% of secondary school students cannot utilize “a” because they do not use it through social media. In conclusion, I reiterate my strong viewpoint that using laptops and smartphone aggregate the learner’s literacy because it steals
time
Use synonyms
 to study and promote students to acquire inappropriate writing and reading skills in terms of words and grammar.
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: