Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

At present,

people

have divergent opinions about receiving

further

education

in a college. Some individuals hold the view that it is beneficial to graduate students' future development,

while

others contend that it can be a blessing for the masses and society as well. From my perspective, I reckon that advanced

education

in universities can exert positive effects on the public and society in equal measure. On the one hand, attending universities can bring various benefits to graduates.

To begin

with, when interacting with their peers and tutors on campus, young

people

can learn how to compete, collaborate and compromise with each other, which can enable them to stand out from the fierce competition in the job market.

Additionally

, it is the universities where youngsters can access a large number of pragmatic courses.

Due to

the fact that the majority of professions require their employees to have relevant qualifications, only when

people

master professional skills and obtain relevant degrees successfully, can they have the opportunity to gain a foothold in some specific areas.

On the other hand

, as for the communities, the merits of a university

education

cannot be overlooked.

Firstly

, compared with

people

dropping out of school before entering college, citizens who have bachelor's or master's degrees are more likely to lead to the prosperity of the economy, as they have received a well-rounded

education

and can apply what they have learnt to practice.

Secondly

, higher

education

also

related to the advancement of cutting-edge technologies. Majoring in scientific subjects,

such

as chemistry and artificial intelligence, those students can make contributions to investigate scientific research, thereby surmounting some thorny issues like several contemporary fatal diseases. In conclusion, in spite of divergent opinions towards university

education

, I am adamant that both college students and communities can benefit from it.

Submitted by Evalynn on Sun Mar 19 2023

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extended

Task Response: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, the conclusion could be more specific in summarizing the main points and restating the position.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with well-developed main points and relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more distinct and impactful in setting up the essay and summarizing the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The following report delineates the participation of individuals aged 18-20 in various activities over the course of a month, segregated by gender.

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. Explain the problem. Say why the documents are important. Suggest a solution.

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. Does advantage outweigh disadvantages?

recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree?