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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
At present,
people
 have divergent opinions about receiving
further
education
 in a college. Some individuals hold the view that it is beneficial to graduate students' future development,
while
 others contend that it can be a blessing for the masses and society as well. From my perspective, I reckon that advanced
education
 in universities can exert positive effects on the public and society in equal measure. On the one hand, attending universities can bring various benefits to graduates.
To begin
 with, when interacting with their peers and tutors on campus, young
people
 can learn how to compete, collaborate and compromise with each other, which can enable them to stand out from the fierce competition in the job market.
Additionally
, it is the universities where youngsters can access a large number of pragmatic courses.
Due to
 the fact that the majority of professions require their employees to have relevant qualifications, only when
people
 master professional skills and obtain relevant degrees successfully, can they have the opportunity to gain a foothold in some specific areas.
On the other hand
, as for the communities, the merits of a university
education
 cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
, compared with
people
 dropping out of school before entering college, citizens who have bachelor's or master's degrees are more likely to lead to the prosperity of the economy, as they have received a well-rounded
education
 and can apply what they have learnt to practice.
Secondly
, higher
education
 is
also
 related to the advancement of cutting-edge technologies. Majoring in scientific subjects,
such
 as chemistry and artificial intelligence, those students can make contributions to investigate scientific research, thereby surmounting some thorny issues like several contemporary fatal diseases. In conclusion, in spite of divergent opinions towards university
education
, I am adamant that both college students and communities can benefit from it.
Submitted by Evalynn on

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extended
Task Response: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, the conclusion could be more specific in summarizing the main points and restating the position.
extended
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with well-developed main points and relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more distinct and impactful in setting up the essay and summarizing the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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