Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At present,
people
Use synonyms
have divergent opinions about receiving
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
in a college. Some individuals hold the view that it is beneficial to graduate students' future development,
while
Linking Words
others contend that it can be a blessing for the masses and society as well. From my perspective, I reckon that advanced
education
Use synonyms
in universities can exert positive effects on the public and society in equal measure. On the one hand, attending universities can bring various benefits to graduates.
To begin
Linking Words
with, when interacting with their peers and tutors on campus, young
people
Use synonyms
can learn how to compete, collaborate and compromise with each other, which can enable them to stand out from the fierce competition in the job market.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is the universities where youngsters can access a large number of pragmatic courses.
Due to
Linking Words
the fact that the majority of professions require their employees to have relevant qualifications, only when
people
Use synonyms
master professional skills and obtain relevant degrees successfully, can they have the opportunity to gain a foothold in some specific areas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as for the communities, the merits of a university
education
Use synonyms
cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
Linking Words
, compared with
people
Use synonyms
dropping out of school before entering college, citizens who have bachelor's or master's degrees are more likely to lead to the prosperity of the economy, as they have received a well-rounded
education
Use synonyms
and can apply what they have learnt to practice.
Secondly
Linking Words
, higher
education
Use synonyms
is
also
Linking Words
related to the advancement of cutting-edge technologies. Majoring in scientific subjects,
such
Linking Words
as chemistry and artificial intelligence, those students can make contributions to investigate scientific research, thereby surmounting some thorny issues like several contemporary fatal diseases. In conclusion, in spite of divergent opinions towards university
education
Use synonyms
, I am adamant that both college students and communities can benefit from it.
Submitted by Evalynn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

extended
Task Response: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, the conclusion could be more specific in summarizing the main points and restating the position.
extended
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with well-developed main points and relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more distinct and impactful in setting up the essay and summarizing the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: