Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

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At present,

people

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have divergent opinions about receiving

further

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education

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in a college. Some individuals hold the view that it is beneficial to graduate students' future development,

while

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others contend that it can be a blessing for the masses and society as well. From my perspective, I reckon that advanced

education

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in universities can exert positive effects on the public and society in equal measure. On the one hand, attending universities can bring various benefits to graduates.

To begin

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with, when interacting with their peers and tutors on campus, young

people

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can learn how to compete, collaborate and compromise with each other, which can enable them to stand out from the fierce competition in the job market.

Additionally

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, it is the universities where youngsters can access a large number of pragmatic courses.

Due to

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the fact that the majority of professions require their employees to have relevant qualifications, only when

people

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master professional skills and obtain relevant degrees successfully, can they have the opportunity to gain a foothold in some specific areas.

On the other hand

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, as for the communities, the merits of a university

education

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cannot be overlooked.

Firstly

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, compared with

people

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dropping out of school before entering college, citizens who have bachelor's or master's degrees are more likely to lead to the prosperity of the economy, as they have received a well-rounded

education

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and can apply what they have learnt to practice.

Secondly

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, higher

education

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also

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related to the advancement of cutting-edge technologies. Majoring in scientific subjects,

such

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as chemistry and artificial intelligence, those students can make contributions to investigate scientific research, thereby surmounting some thorny issues like several contemporary fatal diseases. In conclusion, in spite of divergent opinions towards university

education

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, I am adamant that both college students and communities can benefit from it.

Submitted by Evalynn on Sun Mar 19 2023

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extended

Task Response: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, the conclusion could be more specific in summarizing the main points and restating the position.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with well-developed main points and relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more distinct and impactful in setting up the essay and summarizing the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Families who send their children to private school should not be required to pay taxes that support the state educational system Do you agree or disagree?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.