The table data below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.

The table data below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.
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The table data illustrates the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010. The main feature that stands out from the table is there are four nations that participated as the basic data, namely
German
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Germany
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, French,
Indonesia
, and Malaysia.
In addition
, the
score
derived from the IELTS General test ranged from 6.0 as the lowest
score
to 6.9 as the highest result.
To sum up
, the highest average results are booked by German which makes up 6.7 scores. In contrary
to
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apply
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Indonesia
is recording the least number of 6.3
overall
score
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scores
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. The second biggest number is accounted
by
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for by
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French and followed by Malaysia with the results 6.5 and 6.4 respectively.
Moreover
, speaking is one of the aspects that highly contributed to increasing the
overall
score
while
reading and writing are the most difficult aspects for the IETLS participants.
Following
this
,
Indonesia
and French have the lowest number for the reading aspect which accounts for 6.1,
also
Indonesia
and Malaysia record the bad result for writing with 6.1 and 6.0
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
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consecutively.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words indonesia, score with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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