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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.
The bar chart illustrates the number of problems faced by
people
Use synonyms
 during transfer to the other country depending on a different
age
Use synonyms
. The old
people
Use synonyms
 above 55 years old show a higher value above 50% with the new language in that country .Where the adult
age
Use synonyms
 is between approximately 35% and the younger little one.
according to
Linking Words
 social life and making new friends the bar shows 40% of ages between 18-34 and
also
Linking Words
 adult
people
Use synonyms
 may seem to be equal to each other ,but for older ,
people
Use synonyms
 its complicated may just reach 22%.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , when looking for accommodation will see that younger and adult
people
Use synonyms
 may face a higher per cent between 38% to 40% ,and for older ,
age
Use synonyms
 it may easily and little difficult about 20% . in conclusion , the high level of that complicated my face the older
age
Use synonyms
 in the language and making friends, on the other ,hand easy to find a place in the country with them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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