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Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.

The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they move to a new country and how the problems vary according to people’s ages.
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The bar chart illustrates the number of problems faced by
people
Use synonyms
 during transfer to the other country depending on a different
age
Use synonyms
. The old
people
Use synonyms
 above 55 years old show a higher value above 50% with the new language in that country .Where the adult
age
Use synonyms
 is between approximately 35% and the younger little one.
according to
Linking Words
 social life and making new friends the bar shows 40% of ages between 18-34 and
also
Linking Words
 adult
people
Use synonyms
 may seem to be equal to each other ,but for older ,
people
Use synonyms
 its complicated may just reach 22%.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , when looking for accommodation will see that younger and adult
people
Use synonyms
 may face a higher per cent between 38% to 40% ,and for older ,
age
Use synonyms
 it may easily and little difficult about 20% . in conclusion , the high level of that complicated my face the older
age
Use synonyms
 in the language and making friends, on the other ,hand easy to find a place in the country with them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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