ome people say that the best way to improve Vinsers’ health is by increasing the number of sports facilities at VinGroup or Vinhomes locations. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health at those sites and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion

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Some people think that raising a wide range of sports facilities at
Vingroup
Use synonyms
locations is considered the best way to enhance Vinser's health
while
Linking Words
others argue other methods are required. I will outline
this
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problem in the following essay On the one hand, there are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
several reasons why
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports facilities is the best method to enhance Vinser's
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
Firstly
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, taking part in some sporty
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
daily would build up the
residents 's
Remove the s
residents'
show examples
immune system,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
muscles, and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bones.
As a result
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,
This
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cannot make them more prone to physical diseases
such
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as obesity, cardiovascular systems,
respiratory
Correct word choice
and respiratory
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disease.
Secondly
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, Participating
Change preposition
in these
show examples
these activity
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
can help the locals avoid some mental problems. In fact, in the
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
society many people have to finish excessive
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
, leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure in their life,
thus
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joining some
sporty
Replace the word
sports
show examples
clubs make them
relieve
Correct subject-verb agreement
relieves
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stress and anxiety.
On the other hand
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, I totally claim that some other methods can improve the residents at
Vingroup
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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with, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
of
Vingroup
Use synonyms
can allocate
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
budget to construct more Vinmec international hospitals.
Therefore
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,
This
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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people can access healthcare systems more easily when they have any
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
problems.
Moreover
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,
Vingroup
Use synonyms
can offer well-known doctors in the world to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective treatment. To be more specific, By
this
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method Vinmec can treat complicated
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
to prolong life
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
for the patients, leading to
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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of healthcare services. In conclusion,
Although
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development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of sporty
actitives
Correct your spelling
activities
actives
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good method to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Vinser's health, I strongly believe that some other important methods will be expected.
Submitted by Andy on

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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