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ome people say that the best way to improve Vinsers’ health is by increasing the number of sports facilities at VinGroup or Vinhomes locations. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health at those sites and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion

#ome #people #vinsers’ #health #sports #facilities #vingroup #vinhomes #locations #effect #sites #measures
Some people think that raising a wide range of sports facilities at
Vingroup
 locations is considered the best way to enhance Vinser's health
while
 others argue other methods are required. I will outline
this
 problem in the following essay On the one hand, there are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
several reasons why
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sports facilities is the best method to enhance Vinser's
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
Firstly
, taking part in some sporty
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 daily would build up the
residents 's
Remove the s
residents'
show examples
 immune system,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
muscles, and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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bones.
As a result
,
This
 cannot make them more prone to physical diseases
such
 as obesity, cardiovascular systems,
respiratory
Correct word choice
and respiratory
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 disease.
Secondly
, Participating
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in these
show examples
these activity
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
 can help the locals avoid some mental problems. In fact, in the
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 society many people have to finish excessive
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
, leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pressure in their life,
thus
 joining some
sporty
Replace the word
sports
show examples
 clubs make them
relieve
Correct subject-verb agreement
relieves
show examples
 stress and anxiety.
On the other hand
, I totally claim that some other methods can improve the residents at
Vingroup
.
To begin
 with, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 of
Vingroup
 can allocate
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 budget to construct more Vinmec international hospitals.
Therefore
,
This
make
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makes
show examples
 people can access healthcare systems more easily when they have any
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 problems.
Moreover
,
Vingroup
 can offer well-known doctors in the world to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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effective treatment. To be more specific, By
this
 method Vinmec can treat complicated
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 to prolong life
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 for the patients, leading to
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 of healthcare services. In conclusion,
Although
development
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the development
show examples
 of sporty
actitives
Correct your spelling
activities
actives
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good method to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Vinser's health, I strongly believe that some other important methods will be expected.
Submitted by Andy on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
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  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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