IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #competitors #part #competitions #olympic #games #football #world #cup #people #children #sports #age
There are very different attitudes to the government arranging much budget for training
competitors
 who are preparing for those world
sports
 games
such
 as Olympic Games or the football World Cup.
Although
 many people believe that money should be spent on promoting offspring doing
sports
, I would prefer to support those who intend to participate in major competitions should be focused on. What's more, the kids can
also
 benefit from that. On one hand, the behaviour that spending a lot of money preparing
competitors
 to take part in major events definitely would attract attention from all around the region.
As a result
 of it, the importance of taking up
sports
 could be highlighted.
For example
, parents will more willing to spend time and energy enhancing the physical ability of their kids,
for instance
, they will more likely to send the children to learn running or swimming
instead
 of math or literacy.
On the other hand
, the process of preparing
competitors
 could officially illustrate the important points of joining some kinds of
sports
 and shows the vital things of participating in
sports
 events, which could help children get free from some unnecessary harm, or recover more quickly from some diseases that they may gain during the prosses of doing
sports
.
To sum up
, I, personally, do agree that the resources should be paid to those
competitors
 who take part in major competitions because not only those
sports
 but
also
 the children who live in the same country can obtain benefit from that.
Submitted by li_ciyi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!