IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many customs and traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

#customs #behavior #life
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Many communities claim that the style of life is no longer as before, so the manner of behaviour and
ways
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 of attitude toward customs is not acceptable in modern life. But
Correct article usage
the nation
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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
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 into groups with different thoughts about
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 changes. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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my opinion, I partly disagree with
this
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 statement. The first factor to consider is that traditions and customs have been built over years and they are worth to respectful attitudes of young generations.
Also
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, there are huge numbers of people of age , who were the idol of well behaving and still can be modern at the same time with knowledge in
this
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 century.The main point is that a new society can be still developed without procrastinating the old-fashioned model of traditional behaving , which is worth saving the history of culture.
On the other hand
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, the second thing to reflect on is that some
ways
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 of traditional behaviour can be really old and some parts of it might be unnecessary in some
ways
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 or industries.
Furthermore
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, can make people not adapted to
this
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 life. But it can be changed and updated for more comfortable
ways
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 for the community these days. In conclusion, it is imported to remember customs and
moreover
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, to save it but in convenient models for people of these days
Submitted by kamolovaruhsona4 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hinder progress
  • social mobility
  • intrinsic value
  • cultural touchstones
  • upbringing
  • sense of identity
  • continuity
  • moral and ethical values
  • quaint
  • foster a sense of community
  • outdated
  • intrinsic
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