While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

These days vocational training is a second choice for people who don'
t
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
office jobs. So some workers think that electricians and plumbers are not good enough
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
to learn,
while
others believe that it is
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
best choice.
This
essay will discuss both sides and
wil
Correct your spelling
will
draw my personal conclusion.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, communities
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
welcome everyone to study in universities.
For example
,
These
Correct pronoun usage
Those
show examples
who can'
t
complete their education are desperate to find something to make their leaving. So
of course
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, of course,
show examples
they will get the best
train
Replace the word
training
show examples
to do something
instead
of studying.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
the lack of qualified workers needs more attention and
encouraged
Replace the word
encouragement
show examples
so everyone
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
it an option.
On the other hand
,
this
kind of business doesn'
t
bring a lot of money. To illustrate, most of the society prefers doing water and electricity problems by themselves they don'
t
need someone to do it for them.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
workers are not getting paid enough for a long time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
fixing
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
faucet takes time and effort but it's still cheap.
Hence
the belief That
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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causes
Change the verb form
cause
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less income than the others.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
sometimes the tools are expensive and you have to buy the best quality. For an instance. If you get the lowest price peace that won do the job correctly so people won'
t
like your work.
This
proves clearly that qualified
worke
Correct your spelling
work
is not the best option. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both points of view, I believe that everyone has a choice to do what they are comfortable with but of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
I agree that we must encourage people to do vocational training.
Submitted by lama2004 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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