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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?

#people #waste #food #shops #restaurants #amount
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in recent years,
people
 have had the tendency
of throwing
Change preposition
to throw
show examples
 away
food
 purchased from shops and restaurants
due to
 the low cost of
this
 good. personally, I think that it is important to take
this
 problem into account in order to minimise the number of leftovers. it is worth mentioning that the price of
food
 products
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 much cheaper these days. the availability and development of technology have facilitated the productivity of crop harvests significantly, so
food
 is accessible to everyone, even those living in impoverished nations.
as
Capitalize word
As
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 a result,
people
 are inclined to have a false belief in
food
 production, which is both cheap and unlimited.
this
 would enable
people
 to buy excessive amounts of
food
 without a real need which is likely to result in a huge number of leftovers.
for example
, in
viet nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
, the amount of thrown away
food
 has dramatically increased since 2019 thanks to
people
's unawareness of their need for
food
 consumption. multiple solutions should be taken to lessen the effects of
this
 issue.
firstly
, governments and local councils need to impose some strict rules on the consumption of
food
. only in
this
 way, can
people
 raise their awareness of the importance of
food
.
for instance
, in 2020, the government in Vietnam decided to punish anybody disposing of edible
food
 that was effective in reducing the huge number of leftovers around the country.
furthermore
, social platforms should be used to encourage
people
 to purchase
food
 in an appropriate way, as they are easily affected by social media posts, especially celebrities. in conclusion, it seems that the problem of thrown-away
food
 has become more serious recently, so it is essential to come up with some solutions to mitigate its negative impacts. in the future, it is predicted that
this
 issue will be reduced remarkably
due to
 our present
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the question prompt adequately and provides relevant examples. However, ensure that the reasons for food wastage are clearly presented and elaborated on.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear overall structure and progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and the supporting points need further elaboration and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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