IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. Is it therefore necessary government impose a higher tax on this kind of food?do you agree or disagree.

#countries #people #health #food #government #tax
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Some individuals are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
 that many
people
Use synonyms
 are disorder from healthiness
as a consequence
Linking Words
 of consuming excessively junk
food
Use synonyms
 for that reason
government
Use synonyms
 should apply a higher duty on
this
Linking Words
 sort of
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay partly agrees with the given statements for some reason and inclinations
along with
Linking Words
 examples will be justified in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,in our modern life humans
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 busy with their work
ar
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 study and they always think about
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
 money for their financial life and they mostly prefer to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
that is
Linking Words
 why many
people
Use synonyms
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 too much
prepare
Replace the word
preparation
show examples
 with
frequently
Change the word
frequent
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have been forgetting
care
Fix the infinitive
to care
show examples
 about their health because hamburgers,snacks, hot dogs and
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 is very cheaper and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 many
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 problems depend on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 many students and workers
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough time to prepare adjectival
food
Use synonyms
 and it caused a lot of health problems and many
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that
government
Use synonyms
 should impose a higher cost that fast
food
Use synonyms
 and it might
be bring
Change the verb form
be brought
be bringing
show examples
 decreasing
fast
Change preposition
in fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
consumers
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
.Take an exam,
last
Linking Words
 year in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 citizens found a problem that obesity and its cause
was ate
Change the verb form
was eating
show examples
 a lot of fast
food
Use synonyms
 after that
government
Use synonyms
 rise tax fast foods. In conclusion,in some countries
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 number of health problems depend on fast
food
Use synonyms
 because
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enumerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
people
Use synonyms
 eat too much fast
food
Use synonyms
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 its important
government
Use synonyms
 should rising
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of fast
food
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 it has some negative sides.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
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