Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some individuals are
in
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of
show examples
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
of
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apply
show examples
famous
people
identify with their appearance and rich property
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
their own success and
this
is causing a bad impression among
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
youngsters
.From my way of thinking many young
people
should not learn from celebrities their bad habits.
This
essay partly agrees with the given statements for some reason and inclinations
along with
examples will be justified in the following paragraphs. On the one
hand
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,hand
show examples
many famous
people
are encouraged
their
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by their
show examples
style and wealth
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
their
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by their
show examples
achievements because they try to attract
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
supporters in order to earn a lot of money.
Therefore
, celebrities focus their form and style every time and
this
bring
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brings
show examples
to change young
people
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people's
show examples
character and behaviour because teenagers
are often try
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are often trying
show examples
to
imitation
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imitate
show examples
famous
people
and it caused by
interest
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interests
show examples
to
youngsters
.
However
,some famous
people
identify with their good
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
and
this
is not harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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teenagers.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
some individuals really believe that imitate to well-known
people
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
youngsters
and they appeal to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
change their form
such
as plastic operation
their
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on their
show examples
face and they may try to imitate. Nowadays
this
is
Add an article
an increase
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
every famous person
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not note their images in a unique way.
Therefore
, some teenagers try to follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good behaviour and it would be beneficial for them. In conclusion, a number of famous
people
identity
Replace the word
identify
show examples
with their appearance and wealth than their achievements and
this
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
to
youngsters
Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
show examples
behaviour and form.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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