Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #world

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

At the present time, a few

people

Use synonyms

say that our population may have some challenges without

rely

Change the verb form

relying

show examples

on each other,

wherse

Correct your spelling

whereas

other individuals believe that

people

Use synonyms

are getting far

self-ruling

Change preposition

from self-ruling

show examples

. In my opinion, living with

people

Use synonyms

Remove the article

apply

show examples

one body can be a good lifestyle for us to improve our civilization. For most, living independently is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a more preferable way of life.

Although

Linking Words

create

Change the verb form

creates

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some problems like not having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

extra support from their close friends or relatives when he or she

Correct your spelling

show examples

a bad situation, they are finding some useful sides of being

a self-governing humans

Correct the article-noun agreement

a self-governing human

self-governing humans

show examples

until their current ages.

For example

Linking Words

, numerous teenagers are doing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

everything independently even

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important

descions

Correct your spelling

decisions

without asking their parents about them. And,

this

Linking Words

can be

Change the article

show examples

adequate development for those who are independently thinking about their important issues.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

unity among

people

Use synonyms

can be

Change the article

apply

show examples

beneficial to maintain the development of countries. If someone

separated

Add a missing verb

is separated

show examples

from a team,

this

Linking Words

person can do nothing, but with a team everything

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

seem

Change the verb form

seems

show examples

impossible for

this

Linking Words

person because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lots of

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

and arguments

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

make a good conclusion duration of working on a project.

Thus

Linking Words

, if we have a sense of unity among us, it may provide

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some

Correct your spelling

same

show examples

opportunities to work under lots

Change preposition

of supports

show examples

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

in every matter.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Japanese

people

Use synonyms

have some respect and always support, and most importantly they always understand when they need help

Change preposition

from

show examples

each other,

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

country’s

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

has developed

as a result

Linking Words

of having unity.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there are some advantages of being

Change the article

show examples

independent person

such

Linking Words

as making

descions

Correct your spelling

decisions

independently,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I feel that having a warm relationship with every

people

Use synonyms

makes

the

Correct article usage

show examples

better environment and helps to improve

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

our

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Mon Mar 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalization
technological advancements
collective action
digital evolution
minimal reliance
direct interaction
empowered
access to technology
societal expectations
personal choice
leverage

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
While some individuals believe it is wise to accept a difficult situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money, I firmly support the view that one should strive to improve their circumstances.
5
band
In some contries more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. what are the reasons for this? is this positive or negative development?
In today's fast paccing world, fitness is quite challanging to maintain for individuals. To balance healthy-toned body some prefers to have a personal fitness coach rather than not idulging in outdoor sports activities. However, there are some bright outcomes and drawbacks to seek personal help from fitness tutors. This essay will elaborate possible causes for new trends in fitness.
6
band
In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?
It is argued that in certain nations youth are not using their right to vote. This would hinder the political change, and it would also result in policies made that are not beneficial for these young people. The most viable solutions would be to create awareness among the younger generation and promote them to participate in politics.
4
band
Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are people prefer working in the same company through their whole life, by doing so they got a stable payment and working environment. Whereas others think is better to work in different organizations. Although working in the same firm for a long time could have a steady income and comfortable working environment, I believe that switch job properly could have a better job development opportunities.
6
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In the current world, various issues are subject to debate. One of the issues is taking risks, not only in the professional but also in our personal lives. While taking risks has advantages and disadvantages, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. The following paragraphs will examine the numerous benefits of taking risks and why they are more important than the downsides.

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

In some contries more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. what are the reasons for this? is this positive or negative development?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?