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Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
Currently, a majority of
people
 are self-employed rather than employees of a company. The forthcoming essay will discuss the probable causes
as well as
 their drawbacks. On the one hand, the reason dependents
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 individual. When a worker works at the company, he cannot do anything
according to
 his own choice.
In addition
, the balance of life will be
painstakingly
Change the word
painstaking
show examples
to achieve
Change the verb form
achieved
show examples
. In view of the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 want to do their job without any difficulties.
Furthermore
, every individual
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to create his work schedule by himself to achieve higher productivity.
For instance
, during the pandemic, many
people
 lost their jobs and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 time entrepreneurs started new projects, and they earn more than before.
On the other hand
, being self-employed has some drawbacks.
Firstly
, if they cannot be successful in their businesses,
due to
 lack of their experience, they can lose a huge amount of money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and can be bankrupt as well.
In addition
, being
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
ownership
Replace the word
owner
show examples
 of their own business, they can feel like a free man.
This
 work would be more stressful for anyone.
Such
 as, my uncle started a clothing store, unfortunately, the location he chose was not near the locality. So, he was unable to make a profit from it.
Furthermore
, many
people
 prefer to study to be a businessman, in my opinion, to be self-employed and commonly
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. Taking everything into account,
although
 there are some drawbacks to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 self-employed.
However
, a capable person should take the risk to set up his own empire.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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