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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Parent, usually mothers, give up work, choose to stay home and look after families. Some people think the government should give them salary, others disagree. Discuss both and give your opinion?

#parent #mothers #work #home #families #people #government #salary
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Since the beginning of time,
mothers
 were seen as a person to nurture and look
afte
Correct your spelling
after
 a child when they are born. Recently, with the changing culture and the views
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the public,
mothers
 started to pursue their careers and wanted equal opportunities to other parents from the government
instead
 of staying at home and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 after their families. In
this
 essay, I will review both views and provide concluding remarks. To start with, in some instances
mothers
 of
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
children
 are forced to give up their work and stay home
due to
 financial reasons. It has become very expensive to raise
children
due to
 childcare costs and other challenges
such
 as time and travel.
As a result
 of that, a lot more support is expected from the government that should provide either free childcare or incentives for businesses to provide salaries for longer than 9 months after
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
 birth.
On the other hand
, with the recent challenges across the globe
such
 as Covid 19 pandemic,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments had to shift their focus to investing millions of pounds into healthcare systems to protect and provide
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
citizens
Correct article usage
the citizens
show examples
 of their countries.
Thus
, there has been a change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spending which resulted in
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 money spent
for
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on
show examples
 young families. It is argued, that for the governments it is not profitable and efficient to give
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to raise
children
 as the businesses lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
taxes being paid.
To sum up
, governments all across the world faced
signifcant
Correct your spelling
significant
 challenges over the
last
 few years and it has adversely affected public spending focusing on parents with
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
show examples
children
. I strongly suggest that despite all those reasons, there should be more emphasis and support provided to
mothers
 and fathers in order for
sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
show examples
 growth of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 citizens.
Submitted by jelizaveta.andrejeva on

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