Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case?Is this a positive or negative?

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In our modern life,more and more young
people
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spend always their
time
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on their smartphones.From my way of thinking,
this
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condition is very harmful.
This
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essay will discuss smartphonesʼ negative and positive sides. On the one hand,it is very harmful to every child,and
also
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acountry
Correct your spelling
a country
country
.Because children lose their health by using smartphonesʼ.Nowadays 60 per cent of young
people
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utilize apply smartphones.
According to
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the statistics,many young players are losing their eyes day by day.
Besides
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that
this
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case brings to the country a lot of disadvantages Because we know,children are our
countryʼs
Correct your spelling
country's
future.But If all young
people
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spend their main
time
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apply
playing
Change the verb form
to play
show examples
telephone,
hey
Correct your spelling
they
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waste their
time
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.It brings them their interest to lose which esa been learning.Take as an example,these days many
people
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do not work properly place because they spent their
time
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
telephones
Change preposition
on telephones
show examples
in their youngest.
On the other hand
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,telephones have little benefit side.
For
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this
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reason,by phones
people
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can learn
muchinformation
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much information
about their subject. In conclusion,now much youngest use apply telephones every
time
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.From my point of view,every
people
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should utilize apply phones for learning a lot of things.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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