Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the elderly people and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Angsa

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Modern society has been built upon human greed and selfishness. It is thought that reviving the conventional values of respecting the older generations and the local society is the key to building a better world. I totally agree with
this
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statement, as the proposed changes allow us to maintain stability in the community and enhance the well-being of citizens. Implementing a traditional lifestyle, in which people respect elderly people and the community, can result in acquiring stability.
Moreover
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, not only do individuals begin appreciating the true blessings around them
such
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as family, friendship and relationships with other humans, but they
also
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refrain from committing both minor and harsh crimes. The reduction in crime can be attributed to no more necessity to surpass others and behave in greedy and selfish ways.
For example
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, statistics provided by Harvard University show that regions around the world where inhabitants pay attention to their traditional values have a tendency to illustrate 67% more stability in the area in terms of both safety and lifestyle.
In addition
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, keeping the conventional way of life offers to enhance the welfare of individuals. By learning to be respectful, they obtain the ability to share and accomplish aims collaboratively.
Furthermore
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, the society, in which humans stand for each other and contribute to the development of the whole surrounding, tends to be found at the high ranks.
For instance
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, Japan is considered to be one of the most developed countries. The prime reason for
that is
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following their traditional beliefs. In conclusion, the fast-moving world has its following implications
such
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as the stingy and self-centred behaviours of humans. The implementation of the ancient way of life respecting elderly human beings and the surrounding environment is considered to be the key to creating a better life. I support the suggested idea as it results in maintaining a stable circle of population and improves the well-being of the public.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument that supports the need for traditional values in modern society. However, try to elaborate on your points further. Providing more in-depth analysis or examples can help strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas. This will help enhance readability and improve coherence.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument and presents a clear thesis statement, which is essential for a strong essay.
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