The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the changes in the percentage of people who were born in
Australia
and who weren't born in
Australia
and living in urban, rural and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
, it can clearly be seen that most of the people were born in
cities
outside
Australia
,
while
the least
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
born outside
Australia
too, but living in rural
areas
. First of all, in 1995, the percentage of children who were born in
Australia
and living in
cities
was 50%. People who live in town reached 20%, but almost 30% of the citizens were born in rural
areas
.
However
, 60% was the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans who were born outside
Australia
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in
cities
. By far, 10% of the nationals live in towns and 40%
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
in rural
areas
.
According to
the ratio in 2010, over 60% were born in
Australia
and
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time in
cities
.
On the other hand
, the same percentage of individuals, which is 15%, live in town and rural
areas
inside
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australia
. Significantly, 80% of the nationals, which was the highest record, live in
cities
outside
Australia
. After that, citizens who live in towns and rural
areas
reached 10% and 5%, respectively.
Submitted by malak.ayman1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, cities, areas with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: