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Band 4.5

Many people are copying famous celebrities from magazines and TV. Why is this happening? Do you think it's a good idea to copy celebrities?

#people #celebrities #magazines #tv #idea #copy
Most people imitate famous popular celebrities from magazines and TV. There is a question in our mind about why
this
 can be taken place. I totally disagree with
this
 point of view
such
 as there is a reason behind their vision.
In addition
, let me explain my views. It is commonly believed that idolizing a well-known personality is the easiest way
how
Rephrase
apply
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to become famous.
Nevertheless
, for some humans ,kinds
this
 is a way to express their feelings and helps them
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
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cope with their problems and
also
 feel happy when imitating them. How to merge more expressive when it comes to imitating someone widely known. It is said you have free will to do what you want to do in your life. In my opinion, I completely disagree with regard to impersonating famous celebrities from magazines and TV. Since they are human beings too and have their own life how to live here in our world?
However
, some of them are not good examples to other people
and
Correct word choice
apply
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especially to young age now as inaccurate information about how to interact with other people, how to be more aggressive to face the reality in our world and it will lead
costly
Change preposition
to costly
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 to others
also
 forget the safety protocols when doing something.
To conclude
, it is not bad to follow or idolise famous superstars when you see them in magazines,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 and social media.
Nonetheless
,
have
Verb problem
they are
show examples
 mature enough to think if their actions are good for our society and most crucial give lessons at a young age.
Submitted by cristelsarondo on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and provide clear topic sentences and supporting details for each point. Use linking words and transition signals to improve the flow of ideas and create a coherent structure.
task achievement
Address the prompt more directly and provide a clearer, more organized argument. Make sure to fully develop each idea and support it with specific examples and relevant details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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