IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Write at least 250 words.

#people #travel #impact #environment
In our up-to-date life, the majority of individuals strongly believe that the growth in international
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
 has an advantage side on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and ought to prohibit. From my point of view, the raise in international travel has a detrimental impact on the
environment
 and In
this
 essay, I agree
these
Change preposition
with these
show examples
 points and I will investigate both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views. On the one hand, these days' people visit some type of places, they hurt the
environment
 to leave their trash everywhere
instead
 of trashbin.
As a result
, it seriously
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our nature and that's why some
countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 mention that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they should be banned to come traveller to their nation.
In addition
 to that, a
lot
 of
visitors
 do not apply the rule of the
environment
 and they continue smoking and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution.
On the other hand
, a
lot
 of individuals guess that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some people do not cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problem, that's why they agree that,
visitors
 do not
baned
Change the verb form
bane
show examples
 to visit their country because,
this
 way may be beneficial to their financial budget
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because when a
lot
 of
visitors
 travel to their country, they spend a
lot
 of money and it is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 way to earn money.
In addition
 to that, visiting a
lot
 of travellers help to increase every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 fame, because when
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 is getting famous,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 population increase and
besides
 that,
as a result
,
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
show examples
 of living is getting pretty low. In
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
 analysis, many types of travellers
due to
 air pollution and hurt the
environment
 by do not apply the rule of environmental issues. That's why, from my point of view, nowadays international travel has a negative impact on nature, that's why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 every nation ought to prohibit to come
visitors
.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: