Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

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In recent times, economic inequality has been at a high rate,
therefore
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, it is believed that money can make
people
Use synonyms
happier.
However
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, I think, that a healthy mindset is more valuable than material success.
To begin
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with, economic wealth does have an influence on general satisfaction up to a certain level. To illustrate
this
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, research shows that financial success increases happiness for
people
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earning below 100k annually,
although
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, the results are the opposite when income is above
this
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threshold.
This
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information indicates that there are some particular things that make us happier and can be bought, like trips or more efficient gadgets.
On the other hand
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, when all necessary happiness tools are purchased, equity distances
people
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from their true needs
such
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as social interaction and trust. Humans are social creatures that need one another not only to survive but
also
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to thrive. Rich
people
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tend to imprison themselves in large mentions away from neighbours protecting their keys to success through small talk and superficial networks.
Nevertheless
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, other research findings suggest that
people
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are happier, if they are poor, as they are supported by their community and trust.
This
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study shows that social connection is rather more important than wealth and
people
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prefer living surrounded by friends and relatives that they rely on.
To conclude
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, financial freedom is important for happiness as long as it supports social inclusion and trust. I believe that money is an instrument to make one's world a better place, but once it occupies one's mind, it becomes a burden.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a stronger closing argument that reinforces the main points made throughout the essay, perhaps by summarizing the key reasons why a healthy mindset outweighs material success.
Coherence and Cohesion
You could enhance the logical flow between points by using more linking phrases or transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your argument regarding the limitations of wealth in contributing to happiness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay generally maintained a clear structure, with a logical progression from one point to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitation
  • foundational
  • comfort
  • financial stability
  • pursue hobbies
  • passionate
  • fulfilling
  • satisfying
  • financial security
  • peace of mind
  • mental well-being
  • fostering
  • social connections
  • fulfillment
  • material possessions
  • lasting memories
  • satisfaction
  • diminishing returns
  • wealth
  • translate
  • significant
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