In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In most countries, online

payment

Use synonyms

through cellphone apps is becoming increasingly common.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend may have some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, there are some disadvantages of online

payment

Use synonyms

using

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

a mobile

show examples

Use synonyms

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

Add an article

the

show examples

Internet is

compulsory

Change the adjective

compulsorily

show examples

needed

Correct word choice

and needed

show examples

to be stable for

this

Linking Words

kind of

payment

Use synonyms

. It

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

a detrimental problem to individuals

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

is unreliable and not working properly.

Consequently

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

may lose their

payment

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and need to contact the founder of

Use synonyms

application

Correct article usage

the application

show examples

or bank.

Additionally

Linking Words

, there are risk of leaking

Change preposition

apply

show examples

personal details and bank details through

Use synonyms

application

Add an article

the application

an application

show examples

, if

people

Use synonyms

are used

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

without checking

wheather

Correct your spelling

whether

it is

officials

Fix the agreement mistake

official

show examples

or fraud

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

one

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in today's era, a number of fake applications

Change the verb form

are

show examples

available

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile phone for

payment

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

leak their private details on

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

and lose their money.

However

Linking Words

, despite these drawbacks, I believe that there are more advantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

online

payment

Use synonyms

trend.

One

Use synonyms

of the biggest benefits is that

people

Use synonyms

can pay

different

Change preposition

for different

show examples

types of things using

one

Use synonyms

application

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, they can pay electric bills, gas bills and

Correct article usage

the like

show examples

that.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

kind of

payment

Use synonyms

is easy to understand for all ages of

people

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older communities

also

Linking Words

pay

thorugh

Correct your spelling

through

cellphone

Use synonyms

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

while

Linking Words

they are buying vegetables. Another obvious

advatage

Correct your spelling

advantage

of paying through

Use synonyms

application

Add an article

the application

an application

show examples

is that

people

Use synonyms

can purchase things without carrying money and cards.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

cannot worry about money being stolen. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

paying through

Use synonyms

application

Correct article usage

an application

show examples

may have some cons in terms of security and the need

Change preposition

for

show examples

stable Internet, I believe that the advantages are more significant.

writing7

Mar 21, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
safety
security
time-saving
cashless transactions
dependence on technology
privacy concerns
accessibility issues
financial vulnerability

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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?